she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize