I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
