I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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