I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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