i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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