dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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