Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize