I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
