u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
