LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
