I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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