sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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