Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
