I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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