i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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