Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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