so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
