He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
