Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize