Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
