did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
