chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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