just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
