There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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