have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
