i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
