S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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