Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A+ Viking dick
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