I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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