I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
