I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
