Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My pussy is not your playground.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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