Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
