Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
