you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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