Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
