Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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