I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
