i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
