Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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