The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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