we have officially lost it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
