If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
