you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
