i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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