Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
