hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
