i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
