She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
