Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
