Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
