people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
