i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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