party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
