He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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