I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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