i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
