I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
