Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
