My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
