Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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