After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
