fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
